Love & "Going All The Way"

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it is does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserves. Love never fails."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

This is my favorite part of the bible. You see I am a hopeless romantic and anytime you mention the word love well you've got my attention. These verses describe everything love is and everything it is not, or should not be. The world has taught us to look at love differently, however. We are constantly bombarded with images of lust, dirty jokes, and foul language. All pertaining to how the world wants us to perceive love. Love has lost its innocents in this world. And so many people, especially young people, are listening to the world.

As I was reading Craig Groeshel's book "Going All The Way," I realized that I too had fallen for what the world has been advertising. My love had lost it's innocence. In his book Craig talks about "preparing for a marriage that goes the distance." The book is intended for people who are married, getting married, or someday hope to get married. Throughout the entire book Craig reminds us that is love is about putting your "one" and your "two" in order. Your "one" should always be God. Your "two" should always be your spouse. Never should it be the reverse.You and your "two" must stay committed to God and committed to your marriage. Staying committed to both your "one" and your "two" of course takes work, as does every relationship. He talks about intimacy, not sexual intimacy, but TRUE intimacy with eachother.

The intimacy part really hit home for me. I always looked at intimacy as something sexual. Craig explains intimacy as "into me see." Brings a whole new meaning to it doesn't it? True intimacy is getting rid of the masks and all the stuff people hide behind and completely opening up to eachother. He talks about the "enemies of intimacy." Sin, Secrets, Silence, Selfishness,Insensitivity, and Distance. Each one playing a part in destroying intimacy if you allow it into the relationship.

Secrets and Silence are my two biggest "enemies"(Not that I don't sin...We all sin and fall short of the glory of God). I was open and honest with my Craig as much as I wanted to be. But there were things lerking in the shadows. Things that I wasn't ready to let go of and share with the man who wanted to be my husband. It killed the intimacy between us. In fact I don't think true intimacy ever stood a chance as long as I was holding onto my secrets. My silence also played a different role in crushing the chance of true intimacy. Often times I would try to avoid confrontation at all costs. So of course I was silent. Time would pass and I would have swept so much under the rug from different situations and I couldn't hold it any longer. Poor Craig would get 6 months worth of my "silence." What I have learned is don't hold back. Tell him how you feel. Tell him how he makes you feel good or bad. I was allowing my silence and my secrets to have a hold on our relationship. After reading this book I have seen where I can improve as a future spouse. I am setting goals for myself, my relationship with God, and my relationship with Craig. I want a marriage that "goes the distance" and I want a marriage full of intimacy. I have made this promise that Groschel mentions; "I will do everything possible to deepen intimacy with my spouse." I will not go back on that promise.

Of course the whole book wasn't just about intimacy. But it was a real highlight for me and I wanted to share what I have learned. Mr Groeshel talks about many other valid points and I recommend the book to anyone who is even thinking about marriage.