ADORABLE

Look at these sweet little faces!! I have wanted a Yorkie puppy for years. A friend of mine even gave me a little statue of one a few years ago. So my best friend has been looking at getting one recently. She and I were discussing it the other day. She sent me pictures this morning of these precious little ones and of course my heart just melted. All three of them are little girls and are the last 3 left in the litter. They are obviously small dogs. The good thing about them is that their hair is a lot like human hair and shed at the same rate that humans do. It's funny to think about humans shedding but most of us women see that evidence in our bathrooms. Also a good thing about Yorkies is that they have low dander and that helps keep the "puppy" smell to a minimum. As cute, sweet, and loving these little darlings are they go for some serious "Cha-Ching." I would love to have one and am giving some thought to taking one of these little girls. I would name her Lexi and get her a pretty pink bed and with a pretty pink collar. I could even get her a cutsie little travel bag and she could go with me everywhere I go. I can see it now ..... walking down the street looking like Reese Witherspoon on Legally Blonde! However, it is alot of "Cha-Ching." So maybe I should think about it and pray about it before making my decision. It is just so hard to say no to such a sweet little face!

Heal The Wound

"Heal The Wound" by Point of Grace. I first heard this song right after Christmas. I was browsing iTunes for some new music. I noticed that Point of Grace had a new CD. My sisters and I used to sing a lot of their songs in church when we were younger. I sampled the cd and decided to download the entire thing. I heard "Heal the Wound" and I immediately started it over and listened again. I sat on my bed listening to the words and tears streamed down my face. I thought about making this post then but for whatever reason I didn't. Then this morning I went over to my sister's, Susanne, blog and read her post. I knew then that I needed to share this with her and with the rest of y'all. The truth is that everybody has wounds. We all have pasts that aren't exactly perfect. We have been through struggles or crisis in our lives all giving us wounds and leaving scars. Wounds heal but the scars remain. One of my biggest wounds came from emotional and verbal abuse when I was in high school. It didn't come from a family member but a boyfriend. Those wounds took a long time to heal and yes the scars are still there. I let the scars have a hold on my life. I allowed them to keep me from my relationship with Jesus Christ and allowed them to make me run from the man who wanted to be my husband. How could I be worthy of either of their love? I was tattered and torn, scarred and bruised. My self worth had been ripped to shreds years ago and I was still holding on to the hurt. Even today I can still hear his ugly words sometimes. Scars are nothing to be ashamed of.....Jesus has scars. He knows your wounds and your scars. Only with Him in your heart and walking with him by your side can you see the beauty of your scars.

Heal The Wound-Point of Grace

I used to wish that I could rewrite history

I used to dream that each mistake could be erased

Then I could just pretend I never knew the "me" back then

I used to pray that you would take this shame away

Hide all the evidence of who I've been.

But it's the memory of the place you brought me from

That keeps me on my knees

Even though I'm free

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful you are

I am broken torn apart

Take the pieces of this heart

Heal the wound but leave the scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything

I don't take pride in what I bring

But I'll build an altar of the rubble that you found me in

And every stone a sign of what you can redeem

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful you are

I am broken torn apart

Take the pieces of this heart

Heal the wound but leave the scar

Don't let me forget

Everything you've done for me

Don't let me forget

The beauty in the suffering

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful you are

I am broken torn apart

Take the pieces of this heart

Heal the Wound but leave the scar

http://www.amazon.com/Heal-The-Wound-LP-Version/dp/B00123LUXU

Wellness Wednesday

I walked into Target this week. I grabbed a buggy and started down the aisle. I looked to my left where all the "girls" clothing is and you will never guess what I saw hanging on the racks.

BIKINIS!!!

Are they kidding me?? This is a joke right?! This is the last week in JANUARY and already stores are putting out bathing suites. Granted, this is the South so summer comes around April and lasts through October but please can I have just a few more months of "body hibernation?" Let's just say that seeing those "itsy bitsy" bikinis hanging on those racks has been serious motivation to get this big rear in gear!! So I am back in the saddle again. Not trying to kill myself or go overboard, however. I have decided that instead of doing Pilate's every morning that I will do it on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. On Tuesdays and Thursdays after work will be my cardio days either by walking in my neighborhood or doing my dance DVD at home. I went for a walk this past Saturday morning. It was a little chilly for these parts (nothing compared to what Valleygirl endures) so I bundled up with a fleece jacket over a long sleeve t-shirt topped with a heavy coat, scarf, gloves, and of course a matching hat. I stole my Dad's iPod ( I have got to get me one of those) and me and Aretha Franklin hit the road... "R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me!" As I was walking I noticed that my head was bobbing to the music and even my steps were going to the rhythm. People were probably laughing at me through their windows but who cares I was jammin! So look out neighborhood you will be seeing a lot more of this chick!

I am not depriving myself of food anymore. I am eating things that I like but watching how much I eat and making sure my portions are under control. I am finding that it is a lot easier to stay on track this way. I still only eat wheat bread and that sort of thing but I think that is because I have gotten so used to it that I can't do the regular stuff anymore. I had been having some serious chocolate cravings. I know that was nothing but the devil trying to get me off track. As we know all to well, however, where there is God's will God provides the way. As a chronic chocoholic (and shopoholic....do you think they have meetings for these types of people?) I started searching for a way to get my "fix." Then as I was walking through Target, after getting over the whole bikini thing, I found 100 calorie Reese's Wafers. A whole box of them. Thank you Jesus! It may seem small but like I said in the previous Wellness post I am finding achievement through the small things. I believe that it is God's will that each of us live a life that is healthy. He created us in His own image and to reflect His glory. We should want to take care of our bodies for they are our Temples of God.

Wellness Wednesday: Perseverance

Perseverance-steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. Thank you Darlene for an eye opening post this week. Last week I came down with a horrible cold and allowed it to get in the way of my routine. I have fallen slightly off the wagon of my pilates, my new way of eating, and my devotional time. As I was reading Darlene's post this morning I thought to myself "Girl you needed to hear these words." It is so like me to start something with the best of intentions but some where along the way I get off track and go right back to where I was. I read a quote a few weeks ago that said "If you continue to do what you have always done, you will continue to get what you have always gotten." Hello!! As my precious niece would say "D. A" as in Duh! Here is what I think my problem is when it comes to living well. I think that I set unrealistic goals. It is in my nature to want results now! So I set these goals that deprive me of the foods that I enjoy in hopes of dropping the weight quickly. When trying to eat nutritiously I find myself eating the same things over and over again. Eventually I get tired of it and BAM I am back to square one. Or if I am giving it my all and don't see the results that I think I should see then I get discouraged and give up. Also I think it is a comfort thing for me. Any time we change to something outside of our comfort zone it is difficult. I have been getting up early to do my pilates in the morning which has been great (although I have only done that once this week.) It has changed my morning routine tremendously. The past few mornings I have found myself caring more about getting an extra 30 minutes of sleep than getting my big behind out of bed and working on my body and soul. So all in all I need to get motivated again and stay motivated. I am very self conscious about my body and it goes back to some issues that I experienced in high school. I need to let that go. I cannot allow that person's voice to continue to have a hold on how I view myself. My new goal is to feel comfortable in my own skin and to appreciate small changes and achievements that I am making. Eventually through patience and perseverance I will reach my goal of living happy and living well.

Walking in A Winter Wonderland- I wish!!

This was the scene that I had hoped for when I awoke this morning. However, the snow that we did get just didn't stick. About 9 o'clock last night the nasty hard pellet sleet turned into beautiful, puffy, white snow. I saw some of the biggest snowflakes I think I have ever seen. It was breathtaking to watch out my bedroom window as the flakes floated down from the heavens and gleamed by the street lights. I normally sleep with my blinds closed but last night I couldn't take my eyes off of the winter scene taking place outside my window. Around 12:30 I woke up, dashed to the window but the snow was gone and was now only rain.

Down in the south we don't see much snow so when the word is even mentioned as a possibility in the forecast people go crazy. Grocery stores begin filling up with people buying milk and bread as if we are expecting a blizzard (by the way a blizzard to us is about 3 inches!!) Schools start announcing delays and cancellations. The eyes of the children and some adults too (those of us raised in the south at least) light up and we just can't wait to catch a glimpse. Even though the snow didn't stick and all we are getting is some really cold rain I am extremely happy that just for the brief moments that it stayed God allowed us to see his work in something so beautiful.

Live Well: Let'em Eat Cake

Well today I turned the big 2-7!! I can hear 30 beginning to knock on my door. Jeez where has time gone. It seems like yesterday I was celebrating my 21st birthday. Oh well. So we need to talk about nutrition right? I don't want to brag but I will be having some cake today. My friend and co-worker, Nicki, baked me a homemade lemon pound cake with lemon icing. I can hear it calling my name as I type!! I would like to say thanks to my Mom for the story that she wrote on her blog about my birthday. What an incredible woman God gave to me as my Mother and friend!

So where am I in my goals? I have dropped 2 more pounds. I am totally excited about that but what I am excited about most is the transformation in my body from doing pilates. I am beginning to see my legs slim down especially my thighs as well as my stomach tighten. I don't know about you but I inspect my body each morning before and after I shower. I am even seeing results in my gluts!! Now, I have accepted the fact that I will always have a butt and I am okay with that. I think it is just part of who and what God made me to be. Beyonce, You ain't got nothing on me sistah. I am "Bootylicious!"

I have seen a change in my attitude as well. I know that this is due to my devotions each morning. Spending time with God first thing in the morning has made a huge difference in how I approach the rest of my day. I smile a lot more and where people used to aggravate me to death it now just rolls off my back. Don't get me wrong I speak my mind A LOT and working with the public I find myself saying more than I probably should but at least my tone has changed! Ha!!! My co-workers have noticed the change in me as well. Last week I was dancing and singing in our showroom and one of our outside salesman smiled and said "What are you doing?" Nicki has also said to me "Don't stop what you're doing in the mornings. I like you a lot better this way. It is fun for me!" It is nice when people notice changes in you. And what is better is that my body is changing but so is my spirit.

As I continue the rest of my day I will eat my cake and have some other foods that I have been craving. Tomorrow will bring another day and I will begin again on my journey of healthy living and relying on the strength of my Heavenly Father to do so. I did not post a "Scoop" yesterday but I have a song that I would like to share. I heard it for the first time Sunday morning as I sat in church. We have a Contemporary service where we sing a lot of praise songs. This one was a new for all of us. We sang it before the sermon as well as during the Invitation. The sermon was about finding God in times of crisis. A point that was brought up is very familiar to me and my life lately. It is when we are in the Valley of life that God grows us. As I sang this song for the second time I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. It really spoke to me. It is a reminder that God loves us despite our imperfections, failures, sinful ways, and the hard things that life throws our way. He paid the ultimate price for us and rewards us with a life in Heaven with him.

HOW DEEP THE FATHER’S LOVE FOR US

How vast beyond all measure,

That He should give His only Son To make a wretch His treasure.

How great the pain of searing loss –The Father turns His face away,

As wounds which mar the Chosen One Bring many sons to glory.

Behold the man upon a cross,My sin upon His shoulders;

Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice Call out among the scoffers.

It was my sin that held Him there Until it was accomplished;

His dying breath has brought me life –I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything,

No gifts, no power, no wisdom;

But I will boast in Jesus Christ,His death and resurrection.

Why should I gain from His reward?I cannot give an answer;

But this I know with all my heart –His wounds have paid my ransom.

Stuart Townend.

Live Well Wednesday

Here we are on Hump Day of the first full week of 2008. I am sure that we have all made some "resolutions" and we are all very busy at them. One of my resolutions is to lose weight, along with the rest of the world I am sure. However, this is more of a life style change rather than a resolution. In order to reach my goal there are some significant changes that I have to make in my daily routine as well as my eating habits. For starters I have put together a workout plan. My mornings will now begin at 5:45 with a pilates workout instead of my usual 6:30 dragging my butt out of bed just in time to shower, get dressed, and run out the back door to join the rush hour traffic on I20. After my morning workout my plan is to then spend time with God in my devotions. Then I can begin my preparing for my workday with a good attitude and in the right frame of mind. Upon returning home from work my plan is to do a cardio workout. I feel that is important to do the cardio in order to burn the fat. Last night my cardio consisted of an Urban Hip-Hop dance routine dvd....it was a lot of fun. I want to incorporate both the pilates and some form of cardio each to day so that I can not only lengthen my muscles but burn fat and calories as well.

Now as far as my diet goes, I am still kind of working out the kinks in that. Right now I am eating nothing but whole wheat and whole grain carbs along with plenty of dairy and lean protein. Something that is a goal is "no white at night." My nigh time meal will consist of lean protein, vegetables, and milk. I had thought about doing the South beach thing for a while to jump start this program but for the first 2 weeks it is strictly no carbs. I don't know about you but I MUST have my bread!!! So far my plan is working pretty well. I have had no caffeine since Saturday and honestly I just don't miss it. I have become somewhat addicted to Dasani Lemon flavored Water. It is quite refreshing through out the day. I have also come to love protein shakes made with low fat yogurt and fresh fruit. They are great after a morning workout as a replacement for breakfast (yes they do keep you full).

In order to keep myself from straying from this "life style change" I have made yet another plan. In the evenings before bed I will make my lunch for the next day as well as get my breakfast together whether it be yogurt and granola or a whole wheat bagel. So that I am not rushed in the mornings and I can take my time with my workout and my devotion. I did attempt to step on my scale this morning but apparently my battery is dead (Note to self...must go to Target). I believe this was divine intervention as I am experiencing some HEAVY bloating, if you know what I mean and the situation good have gotten UGLY if in fact the scale had worked. I do hope to see some changes in my clothes, attitude, and scale next week.

The Scoop: A Ray Of Sunshine

It’s sometimes very difficult for us to understand the wisdom and the love behind the things that God has planned. But we wouldn’t have the rainbow If we didn’t have the rain; We wouldn’t know the pleasure If we never tasted pain.We wouldn’t love the sunrise If we hadn’t felt the night; And we wouldn’t know our weakness If we hadn’t sensed God’s might.We couldn’t have the springtime or the yellow daffodil we hadn’t experienced the winter’s frosty chill. And though the brilliant sunshine is something God has made. He knew too much could parch our souls so He created shade. So God’s given us a balance:Enough joys to keep us glad, Enough tears to keep us humble,Enough good to balance bad. And if you’ll trust in Him you’ll see though yesterday brought sorrow,The clouds will part and dawn will bring a happier tomorrow.

-Unknown

My Mom shared this poem with me via email today. It really sums up my life over the past 6 months. It was extremely difficult for me to let go of my situation and put it completely in God's hands. I have become an insomniac. I remember tossing and turning one night as I was trying to relax my mind and all of a sudden I sat up in my bed and said "Okay, enough of trying to do carry this on your own. Give it to God." I closed my eyes and prayed. I felt goose bumps all over my body as I finished my prayer. For days, weeks, and months I anxiously waited to see what God was going to do in my life. I was getting glimpses everyday however of His purpose and His plan. He was growing me. I was learning to rely more on him and less on myself. Even in the days when I wanted to crawl in a hole and bury myself he sent me Angels through my friends and family. I still desperately wanted time with Craig. I wanted answers to this situation and I wanted to know that it was going to get better.

Finally, this past Friday night, after all the rain, I got a ray of sunshine. We went out on what I would like to call our Second First Date. He came to my house to pick me up. As we approached his truck he opened my door for me. We went to Carrabba's (one of my favorites) and had dinner. We talked a lot at the dinner table but not about what we had been through. It was truly like being on a first date but this time it was with my best friend. After dinner we had some time before our movie started so we walked around at Sandhills just window shopping. We entered the theater to see P.S. I Love You. If you haven't seen the movie I won't ruin it for you but it is a great movie. It is a chick flick but as I sat there I heard words blaring from the speakers that I had once heard in my own mind but had not gotten the courage to say. Things like "When you walk into a room and he looks at you that is when you have arrived." Tears streamed down my face. The night ended with Craig walking me to my door and kissing me goodnight. I went to bed with warm fuzzies and thanking God for my ray of sunshine.

A Week Of Details

Here are a few details of my life over the past week or so....Enjoy!!

1. Shopping with Susanne -She and I ventured out the day after Christmas to do some exchanging. We found some great deals in the "teens" that fit our budget and even stopped at Starbucks to grab a coffee as we walked around our open air mall, Village at Sandhills. It is not often that we get to spend time together like that and I really enjoyed shopping and fellowshipping.

2. Getting a mani-pedi with Betsy on Saturday. We went out in the rain to enjoy some pampering. We had a great time at the nail place having our feet and hands rubbed while sitting in massage chairs. Afterwards we went to Firehouse Subs to have some lunch. Betsy still had on her beautiful little flip flops from the nail salon since her toes were not quite dry. As we were leaving lunch she tried running to my car in the rain with those flip flops on. Before I knew it her legs came right out from under her and she was flat on her butt. I tried to help her up but I couldn't control my laughter....neither could the people inside the restaurant who also witnessed the "fall." Sorry Bet but it was jut too good of story to keep to myself.

3. Precious friends-After being pampered on Saturday afternoon some really good girlfriends surprised me with dinner and a beautiful arrangement of flowers. They all gave wonderful loving support to me on this very difficult day. They surrounded me with friendship, love, and food. They even gave me a card that sings "I Will Survive." What more could you ask for!! Thanks Elaine, Nina, Janelle, and Kristi. Each of you are so precious to me and I can never thank you enough for the love and support that you have given to me through out this bumpy road in my life.

4. Baking with Dad-It is a Christmas Eve day tradition. Dad and I spend all day Christmas Eve in the kitchen baking. Each year we make sausage balls, cheese straws, chewie cakes, and magic cookie bars. It is so much fun spending time with him and listening to Karen Carpenter sing "The Christmas Waltz." This year after we were finished and the kitchen was all clean Mom decides to give Dad one of his Christmas presents. To his delight it was a Kitchen Aid Artisian Mixer. We both looked at each other and said ...."We could have been using this bad boy!" Mom of course just laughs....Memories in the making that I will forever cherish!

5. My friend and co-worker- Nicki and I work together everyday and literally sit about 3 feet away from each other. You can only imagine the fun we have during the 8 hours that we are together. Today she and I came up with an invention. You see we work for a brick company and our entire building is made of brick walls....inside and out. Having brick walls on the inside makes a little difficult to stay warm, not to mention that this building is 30 years old. Our bathroom also has tile flooring. It stays about 10 degrees cooler in the winter than the rest of the building. The past few days we have been experiencing some Arctic weather in these southern parts making the toilet seat quite icy!! So Nicki and I came up with a leather toilet seat cover that warms. Now when you get done you won't get up with icicles hanging off. (Really you should have seen the two of us discussing this idea). Nicki, girl I love ya!!!

Isn't it funny the things you can come up with when you really think about what has filled your life in the matter of one week. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!

I'm Baaaack!!

Apparently I took a little hiatus during the holidays. I was very surprised to look at my blog this evening and find that someone had given me a blog award. I am super excited about this. My sister, Susanne, gave me the "Daily Dose" award.You can check out her blog to read about it. This means so much to me. She is the one who got me started on this blogging deal in the first place. A lot of times I find myself feeling a little left out because I am not married and I don't have children but I truly enjoy reading other people's blogs and do get excited when mine is commented. I have met some really inspiring people through this internet connection and I am thankful for each one of you! Thanks Sus!! I love ya!!!




So what has been going on in my life?? Well besides the holidays really not much. It is extremely cold here right now and I am pretty much hibernating. Tammi , I don't envy you girl!!! I have been sleeping with about 4 blankets on my bed and can barley get my bum out of bed in the mornings for fear of freezing my bum off!! Although freezing it off might not be a bad thing considering my weight-loss challenge. Speaking of weight-loss, it is a new year and of course we are to have some resolutions. I have come up with a few of my own. Like to hear it?? It it go!!!

1. Spend more time with God - I am really bad about doing daily devotions and starting my day off right. Thanks to my Mom I now have a Beth Moore Breaking Free Devotional book (it was a stocking stuffer).

2. Belief in myself- I think we all struggle with this. I am guilty of comparing myself to others and never believing that I can measure up. So I must change my mentality and prove to myself that nothing is out of my reach if I work for it. "The Little Engine That Could" I will be.

3. Love Stronger-As many of you know 2007 was quite a roller coaster ride for me. I have been afraid of some things, more specifically growing up. My fears and my past got in the way of my ability to love like I should. I am letting go of those fears and facing them with a vengeance. No longer do I plan to run and hide but instead to love through the good and through the bad.

4.Lose 4o lbs -Okay not that the other resolutions aren't going to be tough because we all know that change is hard but I am determined to change my physical appearance. About 4 years ago I gained 30 lbs within a one year span. By no means do I think I am obese but I know that I am not at my body's best. Some of you might be thinking "40 lbs??? She won't weigh anything!" Believe me...this sistah has junk in the trunk!!! Stay tuned on Tuesdays for "The Scoop" and on Wednesdays for "Live Well" for updates on all of these resolutions.